so..

how do i start?

never really given much thought about how tough its gonna be starting.

well things are little bit on the downside now.. hmm.

is that alright for a start?

well the fact that i will be blogging about my disaster-ous lifestarting right about now..

please leave if you suddenly have the urge to stalk me

and stab me in the back with a samurai knife.

(^_^) arasso?

well ive done it. i let go something that ive always thought will last.

the thing that ive always dreamed about. the thing that i have put my very last faith in.

yes.

DDie. our 5 years story have finally come to an end.

i guess everything happens for a reason. which i still not sure what..

it cant possibly because i might end up marrying kim heechul instead right?

gosh if only that HAPPENS.

okay back to the right track..

i guess everything just collapse.

my ability to trust again. my ability to look into those eyes and say that i truly love him.

till now i still wonder why i made my decision. what drove me to that decision.

him? maybe..

till now i still have not really made myself clear to that dude why i did what i did..

but one for sure i know its really really CHINCHA tiring to be the only one giving.

its hard for me.

so my dear friend

everything i did in the past..i never regret it not even once.

i never regret the help i gave you.. the support i gave to you.. the faith i have in you..

the time i just sit around waiting for you call..eventhough you will not and ignore me for 3 days..

the time i jumped up and come out whenever you ask me to go out..

the time i wake up really early so not to be late our date only to realise you slept through..

i never regret every moment cause i made that choice.

but the only thing i regretted till now..is getting engaged to you.

cause after all this.. it hurts really bad.

to get back to my own two feet. to be going forward on my own.

to leave everything behind.

but i pulled through. and i hope u do too.

cause eventhough we had so much memories during our 5 years..

but i bet i will create more memories wonderfully in years to come.

so i hope u get the answers that you been waiting and asking me till now.

(^_^)

friends and family of course have been super supportive.

my bff's at work.

the crazy girls of shiela's.

my kuzzies.

my mom especially.

i love you mak. i do.

thanks for curing this painful months.

for loving me the same eventhough i know i did a lot of hurtful things.

for embracing me in your arm whenever i break down now and then.

and assuring me that i will always be ur beautiful daughter.

and of cos telling me i wont be anugly hag eventhough i dun get married.

-_-'' so comforting.

and oh who can forget my dearest

who played a very important part during the 3 hour ordeal of ending things.

chincha nomu nomu nomu chuwahae.

kamsahamnida.

*bows*

okay. thats enough of some crappy sappy love story that gone awfully wrong.

been travelling a whole lot now.

just came back from HongKong and Langkawi with friends.

now im left with my first ever winter trip to Seoul.

another 2 months.

PLS PLS PLS let it be my future husband be a hangul saram.

lols.

perangai kepala buntot seh.

people.. love sucks.. but once you got the strength to let go of that suckiness.

everything else is so sweet and lovely.

arasso?

on this i shall leave this blog to rot ..not for long tho..

PLEASE can the kid next door stop playing her damn piano.

i swear if i hear another note of that irritating sound

i will throw my working shoe through you window.

at least get the note right for heaven sake.

with this.