i saw a cute malay doctor....finally!

work was okie.

went to see monsta wen work ends. he had a terrible time laffing at my jokes. he never find them funny. none of my jokes were funny. *sulks* hee. so yeah i sucks at jokes but he is MY BF so he must luff. i have a dumb boyfriend. boo! hee.

went home. now @ home lar.

to Farz Kentot :
yeah .. i noe ure rite. ure such a dear. never fail to keep assuring me. hee. hope everything's well after months of ups and downs~ tankew. *smiles*

to Nadz and Dada:
i *heart* u many many.

to Niz:
hey dun keep on stressing yourself. ure not like tat k. cmmon smile. people do change especially towards love.. but we are still here for u k. ure still our lovely friend. i *heart* u as much~

to Monsta:
i miss wen u were well. i miss ur hugs. i miss ur embrace. i miss ur kisses. i miss lying next to u toking shits. i miss making weird jokes with you. i miss you saying that you dun wanna marry me. i miss making you angry. i miss walking away from you wen u bully me. i miss you stroking my hair..my face...wen u says u love me. i miss you putting me to sleep. i miss smoking endlessly with you. .. i jus miss you. tings will change.. and it keeps me smiling that everyting is in place. we held on and we made thru the battles. i love you. and i noe u do too.. it will end nicely i make sure of that. just like the fairy tale we both wished for.. happily ever after. *smiles*

so i and monsta laff at an OT SURGEON (all dressed up from head to toe). he keeps on laffing. hee. so bad seh.

hari raya coming and i dun feel like celebrating. i dunno why. entah eh.

im sleepy and im gonna sleep.

i miss my girls. i miss Farz beloness. i miss Nadz barney teeth. i miss Shidada blur-gullible self. i miss Nisak irritatin voice and blue hair. hee. i love u girls. lots.

-end-

Y 10/31/2005 10:41:00 AM

i saw sumone fall in the bus. everyone went "OH!" and stood up to see.. i realise i was the only one sitting so i stood up to join in the fun and i went "OH!" 10 seconds late. dumb sia. poor man! but then the after-fall act cool is farnie sia! haa. cannot tahan so i went to sleep again! the bus journey very long. yeah i went to accompany monsta at the hospital.

we discussed a lot of tings. finally we TOK. yes we talked! haa. then he keep pestering me for ECLAIRS. so i bought some for him. hee. he farnie lar. i *heart* him.

now suppose to conference with Nadz Niz and Redha Fucker. but then i gotta call Talibaban. haa. then tok tok. now he singing Cenderawasih Rap Style. sucky sia. and i haf to listen. how lar. fuck.

tings are turning at a point. at least. i met the PARENTS. haa. i saw his brother. *hawt* i met his rich auntie *talkative* and his classy mother *emo-ish* haa. so yeah. in flesh. ahh~ wad a way to meet the parents. haa.

so been spending nites with the ladies. i heart them too. if not for them i will be lonely at nites! ARGH I MISS YOU PLEASE COME OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL fASTER.. I GOT NO ONE TO BULLY!!!! *sobs* i got no one to accompany me do stoopid tings. i got nobodi to do bontot-watching with.. i got nobodi to luff-at-people session. i got no one to go JB with me and smuggle cigarettes with me.. no one to buy me NASi Lemak animore.. i mish u. and ur stupidity.argh! i mish u oreadi~ hee..


selamat hari raya all those hu never puasa!!!hee

-end-

Y 10/30/2005 02:37:00 AM

i hate pushing wheelchairs. grr. hee.

went to meet monsta after work. he is still warded anyway. shidada came later to accompany me. we hanged around there for like till 8pm before heading home. mebe he really do love me? mebe he really wanna change? well time will tell.. hee *psst Nad adi is C U T E eh?* hee.

so yeah went to Dome to chill with some of the kiddos. then chilled with Nad Farz and Dada till 1 plus am. laff at stooopid fucking jokes. shidada have the BEST PLASTIC SURGERY AFTER EFFECT makeover. hee. wahh look ugly lar. razil oso run sia! wuaha.

then went home. then the cheeky girls got bored then came over outside my place to sit and hang out till 4am. then now all go home oreadi arh. it felt great. hee like ol times sia. fcuk. haa

now im sleepy sia. still got to work and SATURDAE i wanna go geylang! hee..

i miss him even more now. he's so far. the tot of him having to go thru all tis really hurts but i will stand with him. we will go thru the battle. i *heart* him. really do.

got no mood to Sahur. so fuck i will jus sleep away~

-end-

*tanks girls. i love u guys!*

Y 10/28/2005 04:34:00 AM

the doctor said i got viral infection. tat's wad he said to me 4 months back. and yet he gave me the same medication! wadda... nvm as long as i got MC. off from work never been better.

aniway have been daes of endless nite(s) i spend with the crazy bimbos of mine. farz was there.. dada was there.. Nad oso! it was like way back..way way back. it felt nice. to bitch about Talibaban. about guys. girls. porn. sex moves. oops. everything in particular.. seriously it's was nice. hee. *wink*

Monsta got admitted to the hospital @ SGH for infections. hmm. it really woke him up and realise all his mistakes. i do care for him..or do i? well as i told the others. i will hang on until i can.. i will do my best. till then i still heart u.

so im sick. am i suppose to puasa or not? the doctor stuck the temperature tingy into my ear .. dah batal kan? hmmmx.hee..

going to SGH then geylang with the BITCHOS. weeee so happy! bye!

-end-

i love all of u.

Y 10/26/2005 10:52:00 AM

another wet day. wet grass. wet pathway. wet people. wet road. everytin wet!

i went to get my hair done. i woke up late so end up finishing @ 11pm. sucks ah.
tanks Dada for coming to accompany me. cheered me up @ least. made fun of dwarfs. customer's hair which looks like DOGS. haa. then tok about her probs. im too lazy to repeat my probs. then she gtg meet mr suave himself. haa~ tankew.

then went to auntie house to eat. then we go geylang. double sucks. its SUCKS-DAY todae. i wore ite bishan pe tshirt tp geylang. trying to act cool. embarassing but wtf get to see Tasha the HRC bapok. wuaha. terrible. then went home.

so todae i took my mind off tings.

tanks:
AYIE- for trying to advice me not to end tings with DD. asking me to hang on haa. he sounds so cute. he sound so desperate for me to stay with DD. well he sounds like if i broke up with monsta he will die!!! haa. cute guy! appreciate it.

ZAI- yeah i noe u wen thru a lot. its my first time. but i will heed ur advice!

Farz kentot and da rest : yeah i noe u guys meant well..tanks!

shidada..tanks!

so all i wanna do now is sleep and get up to follow monsta home. pray for us k guys who noes wads going on! *heart* u guys.

i still *heart* u eventho my heart still cries.

-end-

Y 10/23/2005 03:41:00 AM

what if...

so i just decided to blog. blog shit? mebe? jus bear with me.
been doing boring stuffs. help find long lost library books that yet to be return. i counted how many circles on my skirt. simple maths calculation mentally. make faces in the mirror. on-off my cellphone. yeah. i have no life. i was bored.
so i went down to Dome half-heartedly. in the bus i looked out..tings going so fast by me and all i did was sit yet tings past by. i looked at the wet grass patch. wet road. people walking. talking. it hurts how i jus wish i can smile with no problems. jus sit and do notink. free-ing my mind. but too bad. i cant.
reached Dome. blood. everytin went blurred. i cant see him. at the state he is in. i started to cry. dunno it turned out to be tat bad. i jus wish to hold him but i cant. i cried. im a useless bitch. so cried my self. he gave me a kiss. and tings took a turn. i tried to be with him throughout the procedure. the endurance he puts in. the way he held me tite wen he's in pain. why we have to go through all tis? *sigh* unfairness sets in.
i wanna personally tank all the people involve todae. eventhough it was a mess.. everyone chips in. Izzati. Tsun. Taufik. Ayie. Wan Birdy. and all. i jus dunno how to tank all of u. *tankew*
Ati..ure da best!
maybe someday the sun will shine on us.
maybe someday we will laugh those memories away.
maybe someday the light jus shine and everytin stopped.
maybe someday a time will come tat i will smile without having to frown again?
maybe....?
till then i will smile.. my heart still cries.

shida: i miss u gal. tanks for toking to me. i *heart* u

why issit hard for u to realise ure hurting me?

-end-

Y 10/22/2005 03:05:00 AM

my face smiled my heart cries.

so yeah i did cry again. tis time its cause im really hurt. am i dumb? what am i letting myself into. its hard. i need sumone to lead me thru dis burden. its hurting me deeply.

so i did all my 3 nites. got my Flu Vacination at last! it was okie. we got free ribena in the end! wee. then we went home. tired i slept like a pig. and my body aching. damn.

i dun really feel like blogging.

tings din get better. i have not smile yet.

mebe going Dome later. so yeah. im gonna rest. it stil hurts.

-end-

Y 10/21/2005 03:59:00 PM

i still need the warmth. i still need everyone.

im confuse. i told him i hold on. but im losing grip. please help me.

i still *heart* u so much.

-end-

Y 10/19/2005 05:50:00 PM

still doubting to blog about what im going thru or shits that happens. oh fuck.
life still sucks. they can never get any better.

Love: Im tired. ive run out of energy to go thru the battle. the battle meant for T W O. him & her. it jus take two to run the show. we dun need You. or You. or even You. please leave us alone. yes i noe sometimes its better to jus leave and start sometin new that everyone likes. but why can't there be chances? im eager to see him change. i noe he can do it. he IS doing it. why cant there be chances? why diss him instead of praise.
...im lost in the battle for two.

Life: i got great friends. who cared. i got great family. who loved. i got great guy. who sacrificed. but then again..im not satisfied. please spare my life. i jus wan tings to happen the way i wan it to be. i had enuff. we went thru enuff. we jus want happiness. *sigh*

yeah so im working yet again todae. now i prefer working then sittin at home. haiz.
im really really tired of life.

jus shoot me dead if life's getting any worse. please.

-end-

Y 10/18/2005 01:14:00 PM

jam packed day today.. i hate today.

first spent the morning away @ home with monsta. then got ready to go meet CDS kids to head down to Totally Booked @ Regional Library. so yeah met Dada. and then kids and then we head down to library. okie la. not that bad. imran was faking. seriously..to me la.

dada's bf group oso performed. Velvetgroove sounds new. they got the new touch in them. nvm tho they are good too. Monsta was being irritatin by commenting. "bagus arh matair satu step alicia keys lagi satu step usher" wuaha. then he went on by saying " eh suara dia macam Ferhad arh!" haha. stoopid. then i gotta leave half way to meet my parents for the event of the day "evening @ geylang" damn~im sorry i left my monsta behind. hee.

GEYLANG NITEMARE :

packed. it was packed with Mat Reps. Minahs. Makciks. Pakciks. Indians. Me.
wah i got my folded fan with me so i went around pretty cool. still got my make up and hair in place till the time i went home.
we walked. we ate. we look @ clothes. i shit at the toilet. tat's all.
i met my pri friends. sec friends. ex's. jasni!~ faizal~! nite mare nite mare. and i say sYafIQ kUnteT. haa! so long sia. so many people in a day arh. got summore arh lazy to type.
then jus came back lor. tired like fcuk. but okie arh i din noe there's so many malays in singapore. argh. cute guys. ugly guys. nerds. everyone seems so nice to me!
cant wait to go there with monsta! argh.

i <3 people.

im gonna sleep. i hate geylang.

-end-

Y 10/16/2005 02:51:00 AM

foolish kids.

i hate luffing. i cant luff animore. haa. had a wonderous day at DOME with the kids. argh! got back from work and rushed to meet the Dikir Boys. had a mini meeting and then we went to break our fast. saper yang tak puasa sumer step puasa. haa.

then had lotsa events going on. played stoopid face making games. got my future read by Mr Tsunami. which is 99% true. and yes it showed..jus like my horoscope.. im career minded. so yeah. bah~ then slack and slack. left me Dada Nad Farz Doink Monsta and Wak. we played the create a sentence game. we sucks. haa. we are super stoopid. Qualified~

made my way home. and im tired. Nad and Farz got locked out. wuaha. so they mite be chilling with DD. wuaha.

im sleepy. argh im working. zzz

-end-

Y 10/14/2005 01:19:00 AM

one heart. one individual.

so i woke up early. sucks. noeing that todae i have to work and YET i woke up early. shucks.
but then again.. its okie so i wont be late and im going back to sleep till 11 so nvm. teehee.

had the conference over the fone again with Nad and Fiz. haa. Nad rabak siak.. left me hanging at the end of the board really really bad. knn sak. haa. ader jer carik pasal kan aku. wuaha. had our luffter and then we got disconnected.. cause Nad fone stoopid then i tok to Fiz till i fell asleep. wen i woke up it was oreadi 5plus and he was still on da line. *aww* hee.

met up Monsta and the CDS kiddos yesterdae. okie lar nutin much. jus sit around and do noting. biasa lar kita aper yang lagik kita buat. haa went home early arh so yeah noting much to include in tis segment.

Monsta going Johor..without me to smuggle more ciggarattos. boo~ todae i cant be the smuggler. hee. but nvm one day i shall do it again! hee. i *heart* monsta.

im sleepy. i wanna pack bag and go back to sleep. wuaha. u kids sucks.

-end-

Y 10/12/2005 08:36:00 AM

*shakes butt*

Y 10/11/2005 08:12:00 PM

so i had a arguement with monsta todae. about dikir barat tho. sounds stoopid? hee. i still argue eventhough i noe i wont win.haha. i love to see the way he stressed up. the way he gave up arguing. the way he said sorry wen we make our way home. and the way he kissed me goodbye. hee. im evil but i love my monsta too much tho~ he sucks in certain way! teehee.

slacked with CDS guys and shidada and nadia. all went home left me monsta nad and dada and birdy. it was fun toking about porn to shidada voice. wuaha. sorrie dada for monsta rude remarks. hes a mother tuna remember? haa.

im a smuggler of rowcokes now. i smuggle 4 packs per entry excluding wad monsta have. haa. i like the way i smile wen i got thru. im a damn good smuggler wee. haa.

i fell asleep half way updating tis blog. haa funny ass lar me.

-end-

Y 10/11/2005 03:50:00 AM

unspoken words. unsound minds.

im still not sure of wad colour for raya. black? monsta insisted on blue. *hmmmm*

tings have been the same lately. dikir barat have been formed. young young guys. in the process of making their dreams a reality.
prays. hope they get a chance to shine on the stage. will help monsta with everytin. *smiles*

browsed for skins but gave up. i hate blogskins. they have sucky skins. bah!

yey. i wanna go johor! i wan i wan. todae monsta work. prolly going johor tomoro! yey~!

i *heart* monsta like how i heart all the rest *smiles* mwaks. kish kish~!

-end-

Y 10/08/2005 04:00:00 PM

im sleepy sia. woke up cause need to meet Nad and DD and the dikir group. if not i be zzz-ing like no one business. *smiles* but then again *yawwnn*

i still need to iron my uniform. pack my bag. and meet them at 3 and now its 2.15. k best. im still the not punctual stoopid belo person. i sucks. yeah~

i tink i better get going and do at least sometin~ hee. sorrie if im late people. cause i need to pack so many tings. *smiles*

i <3 him and tat wad makes me still so dumb. haiz.

-end-

Y 10/06/2005 02:02:00 PM

forbidden love.

jus wen i tot i have everytin.. ting's gotta take a rough turn. mebe everytin now is a challenge. mebe everytin is sumtin that i gotta be strong and take charge on my own. the love i had with him means more than anitin and im not gonna crumble and hide away like i use to in the past. if having the battle the only way i can finally see myself with him then a battle i will go thru.
i will win the battle. i want him and i will get him. i <3 him.

4 months being with you brought me to reality. the different people. the different life. everytin. u showed me wad it means to be special. u showed me the true meaning of life.. love.. i will treasure every minute. i heart u till i still can. i love you and u noe that. being able to see u just now suddenly make me smile. u are still there for me no matter wad i went thru. i love u DD.

puasa start oreadi. haa. i puasa tau! haa. then buka then went to meet Nad and Monsta. we went to buy food for monsta and we ate. i feel happy todae dunno why! but i gotta spend the day with monsta. and my bestie fren. to bad DADA cudnt make it.

to Nad and Shidada:
tanks for being there. and helping me out now. i appreaciate it. i love u girls. u guys make me luff. make me cry. i <3 u guys as much.
Nad tanks for helping DD out. i owe u one. i love u k!

need to go update that selengeh girl blog. bye bye.

-end-

Y 10/06/2005 12:18:00 AM

conferencing with Nisak Nad and DiDi belo. hee. i have weird friends.

word of the day HIPPPO-PO-TA-MUSS (courtesy of Farzee Kentot)

nadia laff cannot see her eyes.

tankew shidada for listening to my sheet.

i <3 my monster~

-end-

Y 10/02/2005 03:33:00 AM

wo ai ni.

JB was great. went with Monsta. we ate lotsa lotsa shitty stuff. i wore tite pants. i was having difficulty breathing. then we went to watch movie. i enjoyed the movie tis time. then last time. haa. then bought lotsa cigs. then went home around 6+. tankew monsta!

went dome then discuss about Dikir Barat tinggy. then suddenly i feel headachey sia. then i vomit and vomit. then i cry cause my head very pain sia. then okie liao. then eat then vomit again. *argh* pain seh~ then monsta send me home then i eat panadol then i sleep. boyok ask me call but i fell asleep. then he call me up at 6+ am sia. stoopid sia.

tok nonsense with him. from his leg.. to his motorbike..(member dah bawak KR) haa. then to handphones. then i cannot tahan i tell him i wan to sleep. wuaha. i will tink of a day that we can hang out k? will call u~ harap harap kau mati AIDS arh boyok! wuaha~

looking for guys for new D.B group. interested applicants please msg me. tankew. *desperately need* wuaha~ no la. anione interested?

im sleepy plus tired. monsta working. call me to ask me to JB again. i dun wan i tired! boo!

HRC or NOT? haiz. i oso dunno sia.

-end-

Y 10/01/2005 12:54:00 PM